Starbucks is another of those companies who blindly thought that because they are loved in another country, they’d be an instant success in Australia. How wrong they soon discovered that thought was, almost going out of business here after a few brief years. Now there are just a handful of stores in premium locations.

As a coffee lover, I don’t drink Starbucks coffee. Every time I see a Starbucks, I recall how our tour guide in New York said the city doesn’t provide public restrooms, they leave that to Starbucks. And quite possibly, that’s the source of their coffee.

This is from their website:

Some people come here to drink the world’s best coffee. Some come here to be alone with their thoughts or together with a best friend. Some come here to listen to the incredible music. Some come here to take part in a neighbourhood event. Some come here for all of those reasons and a thousand more.

Let’s just review these claims…

“World’s best coffee” – not sure what world they live in, but it ain’t mine

“Be alone or with a best friend” – I’d go somewhere more comfortable

“Listen to incredible music” – weird choice of adjectives

“Neighbourhood event” – what the?

“All of those and a thousand more” – apart from the slightly sloppy grammar, this must be what it all comes down to.

So, after all my belly-aching about Starbucks, what am I doing at the one in the Queen Victoria Building?

I spotted their cronuts a while ago and thought one day I’d try them for the benefit of my thousands of readers, followers and adorers.

They only had the Raspberry & White Chocolate Croissant Donut on the day of my visit.

Starbucks
Starbucks’ Raspberry & White Chocolate Croissant Donut

Again, let’s look at their website:

Raspberry & White Chocolate Croissant Donut
The flaky pastry of a croissant paired with the decadence of a donut with a tart custard centre and shaved white chocolate sprinkles.

Let’s analyse it:

“The flaky pastry of a croissant” – okay so far… keep going…

“paired with the decadence of a donut” – I just don’t call doughnuts decadent. I think they are misusing the word ‘decadence’, which means a decline of moral standards due to indulgence, for simply ‘indulgence’.

“with a tart custard centre” – it’s more like a tart raspberry sauce. I certainly wouldn’t call it custard.

“and shaved white chocolate sprinkles” – and this tiny amount of white chocolate is what they base one of their key descriptions upon.

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Their website also lists this one:

Cookie Crumble Croissant Donut
The flaky pastry of a croissant paired with the decadence of a donut filled with creamy chocolate custard and cookie crumb topping.

Again, ‘decadence’.

Again, the scant topping dictates the title.

Okay, enough negativity. What’s the Raspberry & White Chocolate Croissant Donut like?

Pretty ordinary.

I suppose it’s what I expected from Starbucks, really. I mean, it’s not like they have their own pastry chefs out the back whipping these things up.

Interestingly, they gave me a little plate and cutlery to eat it with.

The pastry didn’t feel very fresh. The raspberry filling wasn’t that nice. The thick raspberry icing on top made it too sweet.

I needed a coffee… but not one of theirs.

Star 23

Starbucks

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