Do not eat this. No matter how hungry you are, nor how great your doughnut craving is, this is not an edible doughnut. It is a cushion. Repeat… cushion.

When I spotted these at Typo, I knew I had to have one. It looks like it’s straight out of a Simpson’s episode, but there is no Simpson’s branding on it. I’d say the Simpsons-ish appearance is deliberate.

It’s a hard cushion. There’s not much ‘give’ in it. I suppose it’s like that to keep its integrity.

Typo doughnut cushion
Typo doughnut cushion

So I brought it home and my wife says, “What on earth are you going to do with that thing?”

Well, I didn’t actually think about it when I bought it, I just supposed I’d use it as a cushion. The trouble is it’s the most uncomfortable cushion known to mankind.

My daughter says, “What the heck are you going to do with that thing?”

Still had no clues.

My other daughter said the same, only with a little more spice: “What the #*%! are you going to do with that thing?!”

So it’s been sitting on my lounge chair, the subject of several hours staring, as I ponder how on earth I can put this thing to use.

Typo doughnut cushion
What can I do with this?

Here are my best suggestions, and I’d welcome yours:
– Stick it over my head and pretend I’m a doughnut angel
– Look through the hole to maintain focus at work
– Sit on it in case of hemorrhoids
– Keep it in the boot of my car as a spare spare tyre
– Have it half sticking out of a white paper bag and pretend I’m eating it to tease people coming out of a weight-loss clinic
– Lose a lot of weight and use it as a hula-hoop

I’ll add suggestions as I think of them. If you have any, please add them in the comments section.